• Search for:

• August 2008

  M	T	W	T	F	S	S
  « Jul			«-»
  				1	2	3
  4	5	6	7	8	9	10
  11	12	13	14	15	16	17
  18	19	20	21	22	23	24
  25	26	27	28	29	30	31

• Eldis Entries

• Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.org
• 
• 
• 
  This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

October last year I was at the Linden-Museum in Stuttgart. There is a floor dedicated to Africa, and a tiny section of that floor has some items from Nigeria. I took some pictures of the items.

Who remembers/recognises the items in the pictures below?

I decided this morning to quit Facebook. I agree that it has its uses, but it recently struck me that there are probably more people - my facebook ‘friends’ - who have access to information about me than I would normally want. So yesterday I started restricting access to my profile information. But then I got thinking about the things I have gained from being on Facebook. Yea, it has helped me find old friends whom I probably would not have found if there were no Facebook. But that that was about it… I don’t care so much for being slapped, turned into a zombie, getting sent pictures of small girls telling small boys about how they would control their lives with the thing inside their panties. So I set about looking for how to delete my account.

Hotel California
I remember someone likening Facebook to Hotel California, a place from which you can check-out but can never leave. Well, it was close to that once I decided to delete my account. I looked under the accounts tab but the only thing I got was a link to deactivate my account, but then there was this:

Note: Even after you deactivate, your friends can still invite you to events, tag you in photos, or ask you to join groups. If you opt out, you will NOT receive these email invitations and notifications from your friends.

But that was not what I wanted. I wanted to be off it so that I would not be tempted to log into it again. So I googled and I got these results. I clicked on the search result item from Facebook and it took me to a page where I could fill in a form for them to delete my account. I thought I should be in control of whether I want my account to be deleted or not; Facebook does not give me that kind of choice. I filled in the form and got this message:

Thanks, your inquiry has been forwarded to the Facebook Team.

That is how they treat a request to have ones account deleted – an inquiry.

Then I got this email in my mailbox:

Hi,

The Facebook Team has received your inquiry. We should get back to you soon. In the meantime, we encourage you to review our Privacy and Security Help page (http://www.facebook.com/help.php?page=433). There, you’ll find answers to many common questions.

Thanks for contacting Facebook,

The Facebook Team

I want to get my account deleted but it is an inquiry, a response to which might already be on the help page of Facebook. All I can do now is wait. I hope getting out of all the other social networking sites is not as long-winded and convoluted as this.

It is always interesting to speak Yoruba with Beninese Yoruba speakers. I – like most Nigerian Yoruba speakers – don’t speak Yoruba without code-mixing, and the other language in the mélange is almost always English. Therefore, when I am speaking with a Beninese Yoruba speaker, I am very careful not to add in English words. But since I cannot speak straight Yoruba without having to pause to think about how to express certain thoughts in Yoruba I find myself code-mixing with French. I end up adding words like eglise, ecole, l’argent, nettoyer etc. But then, the Beninese, knowing that I am a Nigerian, (even when they know that I understand French) add English words. The confusion is always interesting; while I say l’argent they say money, and while I say Lundi they say Monday.

Where did they pick up English words? For the traders, it is simply part of their trading strategies. Most Nigerian traders who come from Nigeria to shop in the market don’t speak any word of French so the Beninese Yorubas had to learn some English words for dealing with Nigerian traders. Other Beninese Yoruba speakers told me that they picked up English words from Nigerian Yoruba movies. More power to Nollywood, non?

Here in Cotonou, the easiest way – and in many ways the most practical way – to get around is by Zemidjan, the commercial motorcycle operators. Today, on my way from the market, the Zem rider tried to dodge another Zem, realized that he was going to run into a car and tried to swerve back. He lost balance and the three of us – the rider, myself and the bike – all fell down.

Just at the moment when I realized that he was going to lose control of the bike I felt some measure of frustration… that brief moment when I felt the two of us suspended in space, for just a split second. It felt so powerless not to be in control, not to be able to do anything about the fact that I knew we were going to crash. And then it was over. I was on the floor, the newspaper and the book that were under my armpit were flung away, and the nylon bag that held some apples was thrown another way. The only sharp pain I felt as I was about to stand up was from a grazed left-hand finger. I stood up, picked up my things and gently walked away without saying anything to anybody. After walking for about 100 metres, I called on another Zem, told him my address, agreed on a price, got on it and we rode to my place.

I know that I am still going to take another one to the market tomorrow.

The topic used to be taboo in Germany… mere mention of the name even gets people cringing. But it seems the Germans are learning to deal with their history. I just heard the news that some German movie makers are making a film of Hitler’s early years. They are even naming the movie after Hitler’s anti-Semitic book, Mein Kampf. It is thought that the movie will be controversial, just like other German movies that have been made about Hitler – you remember Die Untergang?

Not limited by the past
I think it is good when people are able to get to grips with history, and to examine it closely enough to get more comfortable with it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that a Nazi past is something to get comfortable with; I can only imagine how that affects the way people think about the ways others perceive them. Yea, that was twisted and convoluted, but it is just like I can imagine the feeling to be. But then, a subject that is taboo, and that nobody ever wants to talk about, or even think about, is not easy to deal with.

Not that easy, really
Sometime ago, a German housemate, his Turkish wife and I were discussing over dinner. Somehow we ended up talking about the War. The husband stood up shortly after that and went into his room, saying that he wanted to go watch football. As he left, his wife told me that he did because he was not comfortable with us talking about the war. My housemate is over 50 years old, but this also happens with the younger folk. In a sense, I understand the touchiness of the subject for them; sometimes, the perception of Germans that people often think that they are racist is not unfounded. I have been asked by many people in Nigeria about how I cope with those bloody Germans who are all racists. I simply tell them that I don’t encounter that kind of reception.

Even westerners
In a funny way, that is the kind of reaction I get from Germans from the western part of Germany, the former West Germany. I live in the former Deutsche Demokratische Republik (DDR) – the former East Germany – and whenever I am in other parts of Germany, it often happens that when we talk about where I stay westerners ask how things are there. Many think that Nazis march in the streets of eastern cities. Ha… I remember someone telling me that many people refuse to put the word wieder – which would roughly translate as ‘again’ or, more succinctly, ‘re’ in English – in front of Vereinigung – which means unification. That is the official word for re-unification, the bringing together of the two Germanies. She told me that the wieder displays an emotion that many Germans from both parts cannot claim to have. You can only be happy to be re-united with people you really want to be with, and are comfortable being with.

Enough of the rambling. I am happy that people are ready to look at the past, like this new movie shows. I hope that sometime soon, when people are going to Germany, they will not be warned that Germans will clamp up at the first mention of The War; I also hope that it will be a subject that can come up in normal everyday discussions.

While in Ilorin last weekend I asked my friends about the tourist attractions in the city. They told me that there was one museum, which was not opened on a Satruday. Above is a picture of a part of the museum - The Moremi Ajasoro National Museum Hair-Do Centre.

And oh yea, the other important part - perhaps the most important, actually - is the bar in the same compound with the museum. As I learnt, there are normally drummers and singers to sing the praise of the patrons. Last Saturday was not any different.

What more does one want from a museum? At one side there is a centre for hair-do, at another there is an avenue for praise singing… ok, maybe it would have been nice to really see the holdings of the museum. But don’t forget that I said that the museum was close on Saturdays.

First some cases
I had been thinking about writing about this for a while, but due to work I have not had the time to do it, until now, that is. I got to Nigeria to learn that a friend who got married and whose wife gave birth while I was away was a wife beater. I was really scandalized because I could not understand what could make a man beat up his wife, especially up to the point that she is bed-ridden. Another friend told me that one of our mutual (female) friends who slept at the couple’s house during one of those nights told him of the issue. She – our mutual friend – was begged by the wife beater not to tell any of us about the situation. Of course, it was the devil’s work, abi? Because of this, my friend, who was told of the situation, could not call the wife beater to order, because this would jeopardize the friendship between our mutual friend and the wife beater. Yea, you could wonder how important a friendship with a wife beater could be but, like the case always is, it is complicated.

Shortly after I heard about this I visited and stayed with one of my friends. He and his girlfriend were living together. While I was there they had a bad quarrel that did not result in any kind of physical assault – I am grateful for that because I don’t know what I could have done if it had – but the girl packed up her things to leave my friend’s house. I tried to be a good friend to both of them and tried to help settle the issue. My friend’s girlfriend called me aside and told me that my friend had beaten her a couple of times. She had not told any of his friends about this. At that point I stopped any attempt to reconcile the two of them because I thought that it was probably good that she was leaving anyway. I went to my friend to ask about this and he told me that they had a fight. Later, he admitted that he did beat her. I told him that I was happy the girl was leaving. About a week later, I learnt that she had moved back in with him. The only thing I could do was to tell him that if I ever heard that he beat her I would personally attend to the situation. But that is assuming that the girlfriend tells me about it.

Quite common
I really had no idea that wife bashing was that common until I talked about this with a female friend who told me that it was very common, even on university campuses. See, I grew up in a family where the mother was very independent. She, to a certain extent, did not give any of her children the impression that women were meant to depend on men, financially and otherwise. I simply cannot imagine what would happen if my father ever tried to beat my mother… I really find it unimaginable. So, for me, it was especially scandalous to learn that my friends were actually beating their women. I still am trying to wrap my mind around the idea, and I am not doing a very good job of it at the moment.

Certain things are worse than, or at least are as bad as, sleeping with other women
This is not, in any way, to justify cheating; it is mainly to expand the meaning of the term. I, along with my closest friend, am adding to the ‘cheating’ list 1. deprivation of ones family of ones income (formally know as squandering ones salary on drinking and, yes, on ‘carrying’ women), this especially in, but certainly not limited to, situations where the woman does not have an employment, or earns much less than the man. In situations where the woman also has an income as good as, or even better than, the man’s the man still owes it as a duty to the family to pool resources towards acquiring, and maintaining, mutual belongings (ha… I should have studied law!)…

and 2. beating up ones wife.

Nigeria is currently legislating against some kinds of dressing. The major sponsor of the bill has said that ‘indecent’ dressing contributes to incidences of rape, pitching the responsibility in cases of rape at the doorstep of the victim. I am wondering whether she might add wife beating to the effects of ‘indecent’ dressing. Yes, the last statement sounds absurd, but just as much so as the assertion that ‘indecent’ dressing leads to rape. A country that recently criminalized homosexuality is not creating an environment in which women can safely seek redress in cases where they are mistreated by their men. These things just lead one to ask exactly how the representatives of Nigerians perceive women, who are at least half of the people they represent. But then, what does one expect from a country in which a former president has been publicly accused by his son of sleeping with his (former president’s) daughter-in-law?

I said two posts ago that I am now working in Cotonou. One of my colleagues who once lived in America, and who goes to Nigeria very often, told me today that Nigerians are just like Americans. Nigerians think that the whole world hates them, that other Africans are jealous of them, and that no other African country exists apart from Nigeria.

That got me thinking, is that really true? Let’s complicate matters a little. Nollywood movies that do not show us drinking blood – something that I, Nigerian that I am, think make other Africans to be scared of us – show people living in affluence. I remember a Malawian lady asking me, sometime ago, whether most Nigerians live in big houses like in the Nollywood movies – something that might be asked of Americans with regard to Hollywood movies. My colleague goes on with the analogy to say that Nigerians generally know very little about other African countries. His reason for this was simply: by the time you finish learning about 36 states you don’t have much brain matter left to devote to other countries. This, he says, is like Americans who don’t get to learn about any other place apart from the United States of America.

I really saw reason in many of the things he said, and that troubles me.

I moved to Cotonou yesterday. From what I’ve seen, it is a pretty normal city. I will be here for a while so whoever is passing by/around could leave me a message. Of course, I will continue blogging.

Sunday morning, I went through my iTunes library and deleted some songs that have failed to serve their functions. No, it is not the fault of the tracks; I got them for the wrong reasons. See, some songs are attached to some thoughts, experiences, and feelings, and after a while, I looked for and collected them. But then, I have found that these songs do not conjure the same feelings they used to anymore. I have a feeling that many people have the same experience. I have decided to let them go, and to delve deeper into making new experiences to which some new songs might or might not be attached. I am not great on New Year resolutions, but I have started wondering whether this might not be the closest thing I would have to a New Year resolution.

Next Page →

•  Subscribe in a reader

• Categories

  Select Category Experiences Humour Idea Interview Music News Opinion Reviews Short Story Trade Uncategorized

• AllAfrica News: Trade

  • Southern Africa: Will Zim Fully Enjoy FTA Benefits?
  • Cameroon: China Invades Country With Cheap, Fragile Goods
  • Southern Africa: SADC Free Trade Area Scraps Tariffs
  • Botswana: Competition Policy Crucial for SADC-Ps
  • Kenya: Oil From Sudan Next Month
  • Zimbabwe: Beef Rakes in Over U.S.$35 Million Annually
  • Uganda: Go Slow on Buvuma District, Mukwaya
  • Kenya: Export of Raw Cashewnuts Banned
  • Kenya: Sugar Import Rules to Be Gazetted
  • Nigeria: Country Missing in N50.4 Trillion Global Textile Trade

• Recent Comments

  • Kola on Ilorin National Museum on a Saturday
  • Tauratinzwe on Fola, A Short Story
  • solomonsydelle on The Economist on Cultism in Nigerian Unis
  • solomonsydelle on Nigerian National Archives
  • uzezi on Nigerian National Archives

• Tags

  Africa America Bank Barack Obama Business change China Copenhagen copper Cotonou Culture Denmark Emerging Economies. Experiences Germany Government Health History Hitler Humour Ibadan India Informal trade network Interviews Journalism Museum Music News Nigeria Oil Opinion podcast Politics resource curse Reviews Society and Culture Songs tax Trade Uncategorized United Kingdom United States Whereabouts World Wide Web Zambia