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May
27
Tagged - 6 Quirky Things about Me
Filed Under Humour | 5 Comments
The rules:
1. Link the person(s) who tagged you… Aloofaa
2. Mention the rules in your blog…
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours…
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged…
6 quirky things about me
1. I think of depression as some form of excess energy, energy that can be worked away by doing something physical. Since I am not registered with any gym here, walking is a good way to spend the energy. A couple of nights ago, in Cotonou, I did a two hour walk. Some of my friends thought I was crazy when I told them. Coffee also helps.
2. I have paunchophobia. In normal English, this means that I have a fear of developing a paunch. The fear is related to the fact that
a)my father does
b)I love fermented drinks of almost any taste.
Doing anything about it? Not really. I do some sit-ups sometimes.
3) I enjoy watching romantic comedies (I have even watched The Prince and Me. Yea, it is that bad. Don’t worry, I don’t cry when I am, or after, watching them), but I can’t stand mushy mushy love songs. And can you believe this? I read a couple of Mills and Boon romance novels as a teenager.
4) I am not religious, but I think it makes a lot of sense to believe that the world was created by someone. Or who else would one blame for this mess?
5) The next time I return to this world - if re-incarnation is real - I would like to come as a woman, if I had to be human.
6) I am sometimes hopelessly naïve. How else does one account for a post that seeks to invoke the ‘responsibility to protect’ clause, or for a belief that world peace is possible?
I tag Omodudu, Damilare, Nneoma, Virginie, and Afolabi, and Akinlabi
Aug
28
Of Spider Pig and Random Stupid Things.
Filed Under Humour | Leave a Comment
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrT0IOt-Mes]
Spider Pig, Spider Pig,
Does whatever a Spider Pig Does
Can he swing from a web
No he can’t, he’s a pig
Look out, he is a spider pig.
May
12
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then — to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another,
and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone — “to relax,” I told myself –but I knew it
wasn’t true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally
I was thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home.
One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning
of life. She spent that night at her mother’s.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don’t
mix, but I couldn’t stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime
so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied
and confused, asking, “What is it exactly we are doing here?”
One day the boss called me in. He said, “Listen, I like you, and it
hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If
you don’t stop thinking on the job, you’ll have to find another job.”
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
conversation with the boss.
“Honey,” I confessed, “I’ve been thinking…”
“I know you’ve been thinking,” she said, “and if it doesn’t stop, I’ll
file for divorce!”
“But Honey, surely it’s not that serious.”
“It is serious,” she said, lower lip aquiver. “You think as much as
college professors, and college professors don’t make any money, so if
you keep on thinking, we won’t have any money!”
“That’s a faulty syllogism,” I said impatiently. She exploded in tears
of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional
drama.
“I’m going to the library,” I snarled as I stomped out the door. I
headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into
the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass
doors…They didn’t open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night.
Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught my eye. “Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?” it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker’s
Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering
thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a
non-educational video; last week it was “Porky’s.”
Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last
meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed…easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the
road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
Today, I registered to vote Republican…
May
11
Why God never got a PhD
Filed Under Humour | 2 Comments
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
May
8
May 07, 2007 — By William J. Kole, Associated Press
VIENNA, Australia — In some ways, Hiasl is like any other Viennese: He indulges a weakness for pastry, likes to paint and enjoys chilling out watching TV. But he doesn’t care for coffee, and he isn’t actually a person — at least not yet.
In a case that could set a global legal precedent for granting basic rights to apes, animal rights advocates are seeking to get the 26-year-old male chimpanzee legally declared a “person.”
Hiasl’s supporters argue he needs that status to become a legal entity that can receive donations and get a guardian to look out for his interests.
“Our main argument is that Hiasl is a person and has basic legal rights,” said Eberhart Theuer, a lawyer leading the challenge on behalf of the Association Against Animal Factories, a Vienna animal rights group.
“We mean the right to life, the right to not be tortured, the right to freedom under certain conditions,” Theuer said.
“We’re not talking about the right to vote here.”
The campaign began after the animal sanctuary where Hiasl (pronounced HEE-zul) and another chimp, Rosi, have lived for 25 years went bankrupt.
Activists want to ensure the apes don’t wind up homeless if the shelter closes. Both have already suffered: They were captured as babies in Sierra Leone in 1982 and smuggled in a crate to Austria for use in pharmaceutical experiments. Customs officers intercepted the shipment and turned the chimps over to the shelter.
Their food and veterinary bills run about $6,800 a month. Donors have offered to help, but there’s a catch: Under Austrian law, only a person can receive personal donations.
Organizers could set up a foundation to collect cash for Hiasl, whose life expectancy in captivity is about 60 years. But without basic rights, they contend, he could be sold to someone outside Austria, where the chimp is protected by strict animal cruelty laws.
“If we can get Hiasl declared a person, he would have the right to own property. Then, if people wanted to donate something to him, he’d have the right to receive it,” said Theuer, who has vowed to take the case to the European Court of Human Rights if necessary.
Austria isn’t the only country where primate rights are being debated. Spain’s parliament is considering a bill that would endorse the Great Ape Project, a Seattle-based international initiative to extend “fundamental moral and legal protections” to apes.
If Hiasl gets a guardian, “it will be the first time the species barrier will have been crossed for legal ‘personhood,’” said Jan Creamer, chief executive of Animal Defenders International, which is working to end the use of primates in research.
Paula Stibbe, a Briton who teaches English in Vienna, petitioned a district court to be Hiasl’s legal trustee. On April 24, Judge Barbara Bart rejected her request, ruling Hiasl didn’t meet two key tests: He is neither mentally impaired nor in an emergency.
Although Bart expressed concern that awarding Hiasl a guardian could create the impression that animals enjoy the same legal status as humans, she didn’t rule that he could never be considered a person.
Martin Balluch, who heads the Association Against Animal Factories, has asked a federal court for a ruling on the guardianship issue.
“Chimps share 99.4 percent of their DNA with humans,” he said. “OK, they’re not homo sapiens. But they’re obviously also not things — the only other option the law provides.”
Not all Austrian animal rights activists back the legal challenge. Michael Antolini, president of the local Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said he thinks it’s absurd.
“I’m not about to make myself look like a fool” by getting involved, said Antolini, who worries that chimpanzees could gain broader rights, such as copyright protections on their photographs.
But Stibbe, who brings Hiasl sweets and yogurt and watches him draw and clown around by dressing up in knee-high rubber boots, insists he deserves more legal rights “than bricks or apples or potatoes.”
“He can be very playful but also thoughtful,” she said. “Being with him is like playing with someone who can’t talk.”
A date for the appeal hasn’t been set, but Hiasl’s legal team has lined up expert witnesses, including Jane Goodall, the world’s foremost observer of chimpanzee behavior.
“When you see Hiasl, he really comes across as a person,” Theuer said.
“He has a real personality. It strikes you immediately: This is an individual. You just have to look him in the eye to see that.”
——
Great Ape Project, http://www.greatapeproject.org
Animal Defenders International, http://www.ad-international.org
Source: Associated Press
Apr
30
Apr
27
Uncle Ben’s Promotion
Filed Under Humour | Leave a Comment
Got this from a listserve… the fictional Uncle Ben has been promoted from cook to CEO of Uncle Ben’s Inc.
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